Mom... He's got your back!!!

We have definitely felt strength and courage beyond ourselves in this last month. Although some parts of this journey are still hard at times, especially for my Mom, God has proven that we can stand firm in Him, trust Him even if things do not make sense, and most of all rest in Him even if we don’t know the future. The UNKNOWN… I think this has been the hardest part for my Mom (and our family as well, I’m sure). Not knowing when this thing will end, how it will end, and if she will get her life back as it was before…or perhaps even betterJ! Although chemo is hard both emotionally and physically, I think we can all attest to the realness of God, His presence, His peace, and His faithfulness through this. I don’t know if my Mom can see what I see as she walks through this difficult season, but I think there is a strength and courage about her that I have never seen (she says she isn’t strong, especially if she allows her tears to surface… but do tears mean you are weak? I don’t think so. Most times it takes strength and courage to be real and vulnerable). But maybe she isn’t strong in and of herself? I believe it is God’s strength that I see in her and that is even more beautiful. It takes courage to give your life to God… it takes trust to let go of control. But seriously….I can’t even put to words how much God has taken care of her in these last few months. Mom…. He’s got your back (I’m gansta)!!!

 

One of the most amazing ways God has shown up through all of this was at one of my Mom’s small surgeries (a port-a-cath had to be surgically put underneath her skin near her collar bone in order to make chemo treatments easier and more efficient). A few weeks ago, as my Mom and my sister sat together on my Mom’s hospital bed waiting for surgery, a special nurse arrivedJ. As the nurse entered the room to give my Mom an EKG test (just to make sure her heart was healthy), neither my Mom nor my sister could have expected what happened next… First, the nurse ushered my sister out of the room. As this special nurse proceeded to walk my Mom through the EKG process she began talking to my Mom… like REALLY talking to her… one of those “really good at bed side manners” kind of nurses. This new friend began asking my Mom about her diagnosis and treatment plan. My Mom told her story (probably for the one millionth timeJ). But the nurse’s response was different than any other doctor, surgeon, chemo specialist, or nurse my Mom had encountered up to this point… she said, “Here’s what you need to do. You need to get yourself a journal and write in it every day. Write, Thank-you Lord that I am healthy.” The nurse then left. My Mom was speechless, as this is not a normal nurse patient conversation! But before she could process what the nurse had said to her, another nurse entered to give her an EKG. Confused, my Mom told this second nurse that she had already had her EKG. He then looked at her confused, explaining that he was sent to do the EKG and he was not sure who else would have come to do it. My Mom assured him that it had just been done. He decided to go check at the nurses’ desk and yet another confused nurse showed him the paperwork. The EKG was in fact done… but none of the nurses seemed to know who had done it. Angel? I can’t say we know for sure if that special nurse was an Angel… nor can I say she wasn’tJ. Only God knows. But what we do know is it gave us all HOPE! To be honest, even as I write this, there seemed to be a hope and peace that moved across our family after this moment… A deeper sense of trust in Him. Mom… He’s got your back!!!

Well, like I said, although this journey is HARD—at times my Mom is extremely nauseous, incredibly exhausted and can barely get out of bed… and sometimes we need to wear masks out in public so that we stay away from germsJ (I won’t lie and say it is all roses, butterflies, puppy dogs, and rainbows ßsounds lovely doesn’t it J), we can’t help but be grateful for what God has done so far… and I have a feeling He’s not finished with us yet! So God, we say you are welcome here in this season, in this journey, in our lives and in our hearts. You have proven to be more and more FAITHFUL! How can we possibly not trust you now!!! Thanks God that you’ve got my Mom’s back!!! Mom…He’s got your back!!!