Event 1: Diagnosis

To be honest, I have never considered myself to be a “blogger” but here I am blogging! And to be even more honest, at times I have thougth that blogging was a little annoying, but I am going to do it anywaysJ. The reason for this blog was initially going to be, in letter form, for family and friends to keep up with how my mom is doing through this season of her life in order to ease the pressure on her to answer calls, emails and facebook messages on how she is doing. I never understood why people would blog about such a personal thing but I can now look you in the eye and say I completely understand it. It’s a way of processing what is going on, a way to share with others the reality of where we are all at, and ultimately, my hope is that this blog will reveal the hand of God in a difficult season. He doesn’t always show up how we think He will but I am trusting that His heart towards us will be evident, His Sovereignty over our lives will be real, and that something new and true will be revealed about Him to anyone who reads this…. Even if we only have one followerJ. And in the end, I am doing it out of obedienceJ. So, with that being said, how is she doing?

For those who do not know, within the last month or so my Mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Cancer seems to pop up in, what I now like to call, “mini-events” from diagnosis to remission. Events are anticipated moments or expected occasions—although the initial diagnosis (more like an Oscar Awards sized event, rather than the mini ones that are to come)was not expected by most of us, I think my Mom can attest to the fact that something in her knew what the doctor was about to say. Afterwards she explained that she just knew. And although her heart was somewhat prepared, I can only imagine what the first night’s sleep was like—at the end of the day, when visitors are gone and you are left alone with yourself, that is when the reality of how you are doing hits you like a ton of bricks. As her daughter, I often stop and think about what lies ahead—I think my Mom feels the same, however I can admit that most days she seems to be doing better than meJ. Although waves of raw emotion come and go, my Mom seems to laugh and smile often, despite what lies ahead. There is a peace and grace about her that I have never seen. Similarly, my sister oozes a strength about her even through tears—her authenticity is beautiful and I admire it. Therefore, after this first “event”, we wait on God through all the “mini-events” to come (my favorite so far was wig shopping…more on that in the next blogJ…look at me now, blogging away! Ha!). In the Bible it says that when we wait and hope in the Lord, our strength will be renewed and we will soar up on wings like eagle’s, we will run and not grow weary , we will walk and not be faint (Isaiah 40:31). It also says that IN ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28) (a verse my sister and I both got from God for this season).

So, we stand on this…we wait, we trust, we anticipate Father’s hand to be upon us in this time, we magnify Him above our circumstances, we climb His mountain to get His perspective, His vision, and we use His Word as our weapon! So…..here we go J! Thank-you deeply Jesus for your grace, your peace that transcends all understanding and for your comfort! We trust you!